Craved tea hence got back into the MiG-21 cockpit: Abhinandan

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Indian Airforce Pilot Abhinandan Varthaman said on Monday that the Pakistani F-16 plane that he had shot down had clipped his moustache as it was on its way down.

The IAF pilot was speaking up for the first time ever since his plane was shot down by the PAF in February after his MiG-21 Bison jet intruded Pakistan’s airspace. He was being interviewed by The Republic’s Arnab Goswami, who held up flash cards for Abhinandan to answer if he got confused in sharing details of the dogfight between the IAF and the PAF from February.

“So the Pakistani jets were too fast for m-” he tried to say before Arnab held up a flash card that read: Stop, YOU IDIOT!

“So tell us about the Pakistani F-16 that you shot down Abhinandan,” said Arnab.

“Well, I have to say it was quite an honour for me. It was such an intense moment and the plane came so close to me after I shot it down that it clipped my moustache,” he said.

Asked as to why he had decided to fly a sortie with the IAF chief the other day, Abhinandan said that he was craving for a cup of tea.

“Indians don’t make doodh patti like the Pakistanis do,” he said. “I don’t know–I just had a craving for doodh patti and hence, wandered close to the Pakistani border,” he said.

Abhinandan said that IAF chief BS Dhanoa started screaming which forced him to steer the plane away from the Pakistani airspace.

“You mean the brave IAF chief thumped his chest like a lion and forced the Pakistanis to be on their toes again,” said Arnab.

Abhinandan said that when he was held, Pakistani security forces tortured him.

“They made me read lengthy Hamza Ali Abbasi Facebook statuses for the entire 68 hours they held me captive,” he said.

Abhinandan concluded the interview by saying that he would like to return to Pakistan one day.

“You do get a bloody nose every now and then and a bit of thrashing. But not only is the tea fantastic, it’s also worth it,” he said.

NOTE: This was a piece of satire! Do let us know whether you liked it or not in the comments section below. Laugh away!