SATIRE: Momina Duraid bans Mehwish Hayat for supporting hockey

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A few days after she announced on social media that Firdous Jamal had been banned from all HUM TV projects, Momina Duraid revealed that she had also banned Mehwish Hayat from all HUM TV dramas and projects for supporting hockey.

Also read: People are calling for a boycott of Momina Duraid’s ‘Superstar’

Talking to media, Momina claimed that she had taken the decision to hold Mehwish accountable as she had done the unthinkable–voiced her opinion about something.

“Well, just like Firdous, Mehwish also spoke about something that bothered her hence I had to ban her from all HUM TV projects,” she said, nostrils flaring in anger. “How dare the woman–wait–any human being–have an opinion?” she seethed.

Momina said that it was horrible how Mehwish had chosen to support Pakistan hockey by going to Sukkur and helping uplift the game. Momina said that she had better things in mind for Mehwish than support hockey.

“You see, this is not something women are supposed to do,” she said. “Women are meant to act only in my dramas. My dramas portray Pakistani women best–damsels in distress who have no other option but to cry. We even provide sad background music whenever she gets slapped, beaten or cheated on. That’s how I make stars,” she added.

Momina said she would cast only women who were able to cry their eyeballs out and stick to a script that glorified cousin marriages.

“What would you rather see? The state of our national sport improve or Mehwish Hayat’s mascara spoiled courtesy a few tears? The tears, right? That’s what makes money for me, anyways,” she added.

Momina also gave herself a pat on the back for banning Firdous Jamal before the veteran actor before the release of her much-anticipated film, ‘Superstar’.

“Now, people are calling for a ban on the movie altogether,” she said. “Wasn’t it the perfect time for me to involve myself in an issue that hardly concerned me and turn the public against me, my production company and best of all, Mahira Khan?”

Her manager whispered something in her ear. Momina cleared her throat and asked reporters to excuse her.
“I must hold a board meeting with HUM TV’s management. Iqra Aziz said that Yasir Hussain should have taken a breath mint before proposing to her at the LSA 2019. I MUST ban her. She gave an opinion.”

NOTE: Relax, this is a satirical piece. It’s a work of fiction. None of it is true. Do let us know in the comments section what you think about it!