Naya Pakistan: Note 15, week 15

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Last week was a difficult one in Pakistan when we realized how bananas can trigger emotions and watching the telly showed us all animals aren’t caged in zoos. Some say they had a terrible week on Monday…but they haven’t placed themselves in the shoes of the ones who murdered Ko Ko Korina, have they?

Our prime minister made a speech from John Wayne’s book and then ran to the wall from George Martin’s book–suffice to say neither got him any luck nor respite…but we did see history repeat itself again.

The opposition benches on the other hand have been criticizing the government on how it handled the situation. These are the same people whose ex-governor’s murderer is deemed a saint now.

Almost all Pakistani banks have been hacked and data has been stolen from accounts which is why foreign transactions were closed last week. Bola tha don’t put on social media… falooday wale ke account ko zazar lag gayee na!

Post the dharnas Facebook is promptly showing videos of people who can bring people on the roads within seconds (rented crowds)…someone should make a protestor hailing app.

I also had the chance of watching a Pakistan-Australia T20 match in Dubai last week…the stadium was too clean, the lighting too perfect and there was no insane person climbing stands to erect MQM flags – I didn’t enjoy it at all…I’m a Karachiite.

Closing down the city made many of us reminiscence of an age where bhai would paralyze life least he was funny at times. Farooq bhai ki tu ankhon me ansoon agaye.

The holy ones after their investment conference “disaster in the desert” have now come full cycle in proving to the rest of us that they can’t even kill someone properly one person. Yet we believe they hijacked four jets for a terrorist plot. Ah belief–it’s a tricky thing.

Speaking of belief, I couldn’t believe how silent many of us were as our roads were being hijacked but cheered a lot when a Twitter account was suspended. I mean, really?

Hamara bas chale tu zindagi pe bhi x pro II filter laga ke so jain!

Idris Alba has been declared the ‘Sexiest Man Alive’–good thing he isn’t Pakistani otherwise he would be a chota to a mechanic and nobody would marry him for the reason that itna kalaa Kashmiri tu nahi ho sakta!

The PTI government made a master stroke when their advisor Mr Dawood decried the CPEC on several occasions right before they went begging, as the state channel’s gaffe put it.

The courts will now take the decision on putting a person on the ECL after they have left the country.

The festival of Diwali is upon us this day and I would like to wish all my friends who celebrate it. Peace, love and joy for those of us who hate for whatever reason.

You can apply burnol in saffron colors as well to heal thy souls!

The writer is a Digital strategist/writer/blogger at Global voices and Daily times. Karachiite, disruptor, wanderer, beach bum, no frills.You can follow him on Instagram at @faiskap and on Twitter at @faisalkapadia.